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Sales -- Mary Hodge

Mary Hodge

Mother of  Stephanie Hunt

Mrs. United States 2007

Proudest moment?

As a pageant mother my proudest moment was hearing Stephanie's name called out as the winner. There have been many times when she was 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or no runner-up at all; but winning is a dream come true.

Hardest thing to deal with?

The hardest thing for me to deal with as the mother of a contestant is to know in my heart and soul that she should have won a crown and didn't. It's very hard to hold back your feelings, especially if you feel that there has been some unfairness in judging.

Best advice you could give?

The best advice I think that I could give a contestant's mother is to be there for your daughter: encourage her. You don't go into competitions thinking that losing is an option, but you have to make sure that she always feels that she is a winner. If winning is the goal then encourage her not to quit because "winners do not quit," but if losing is what happens, remember that she is the one that feels that loss the deepest. You have to remember that her feelings come first; not yours. Competing is not easy.


Mary Hodge is the mother of two daughters and one son, and the grandmother of two wonderful boys. She is the very proud mother of Mrs. United States 2007, Mrs. Stephanie Hunt. Born in Shreveport , Louisiana , she now lives in Ypsilanti , Michigan .

Mary will be sharing more pageant insight and tips in the future.
 

“A rare disorder isn’t rare when it affects someone you love.”

How true those words are – and the recent loss of Bernie Mac to Sarcoidosis shows just how disorders and diseases that are classed as rare affect us all; this one hit very close to home.

One day some time ago, I found myself coughing and thought I had a cold until I began to lose weight.  After about two weeks and a weight loss 25lbs the coughing spells had only gotten more violent.  I was a nurse at the time and I explained to a Doctor friend working my floor what was going on.  She in turn sent to me for a chest x-ray.  When the results came back and showed something on my lungs I was admitted to the very hospital I worked in.  Even more worrying was that I was sent to the 9^th floor which housed the cancer unit.  I underwent a battery of tests and was discharged with orders to return the following Monday morning. 

Dr. Abbit greeted me that day with a room full of young interns and residents.  I immediately knew from experience that that sort of welcoming committee meant there was something quite different going on.  Still the Doctor assured me that I would be okay even as he and his interns began the examination. What they found was that my lachrymal ducts where enlarged and that the chest x-ray showed scarring. A TB test was conducted and the decision made to perform a scaling node biopsy as it was evident that something was causing me to continue to lose weight – at this point it was nearly 50lbs.   They discovered two nodes in my bronchioles which were enough to confirm that I had what was called Sarcoidosis.  It had affected my eyes and the bronchioles.  I was told it was very rare, that it runs in families, and that it primarily affected women of African-American decent.

I was put on steroids to treat the symptoms.  Some live with it unnoticed while others suffer severely -- I consider myself very blessed as I have been in remission for about 30 years now.

Thinking back I remember when I was young my sister was sent to a Tuberculosis sanitarium.  She had part of her lung removed and the Doctors said then that she experienced one of the fastest recoveries they had ever witnessed.  I believe now that she had been misdiagnosed and that she very likely had suffered from Sarcoidosis as well.

I was very saddened to hear that someone’s life had been taken by a rare disease that I thought was so treatable. 

My condolences go out to the family of Bernie Mac.  I pray that more research is done for this and all rare diseases. 

Mary

July 20, 2008


Hello everyone,

Yes, I am finally writing again- I took a really long break. But while away I went on several trips with Stephanie. I of course had fun at the various pageants, but I have to say the best one of all was the Mrs. Michigan United States Pageant. The ladies were FANTASTIC, and knowing so many of you personally made this pageant so very special. I could not lose and I didn't have to choose. I just sat back and marveled at all of you and waited for the results. I felt happy at the end & I also felt sad, "bittersweet", I guess they call it. The true joy was to watch you ladies celebrate your winner! It made me so PROUD of all of you. In all of the events I have attended I have never been more proud of a group of contestants, what role models. My daughter Stephanie, "what can I say", I was just, in awe of her. She did a fine job co-hosting the show and her speech left me breathless! Pride just does not describe how I felt.

June brought a lot of excitement as well. Going to L.A. with her and finally being at her home the day her portraits arrived. All I can say is "WOW". Well we are in Las Vegas now and what a time this will be! So many of the ladies she competed with will join us over the next few days and many family members will be here as well. I just keep thinking of that wonderful evening last year when Stephanie won. My eyes were closed, hands clenched in prayer – this year I’ll get to watch every moment and it will be exciting all over again. She has had an outstanding year! And it has opened so many doors of opportunity for my baby and grandbaby! We will be very busy this week and in the weeks to come – so stay tuned.

I’d like to extend my best wishes to all of this year’s contestants – Good Luck Everyone!!

Mary

April 12, 2008

Hi Everyone!!

I’ve got just a few words to share with you all this time. And that’s what this entry is all about!! Time -- just how much are you willing to give?

To Get from Here

To Here

As a contestant entering the pageant world you have to be willing and able to commit the time and effort that “doing” this sort of thing really takes. And for everyone who’s already there, you really know what I’m talking about. It’s a combined family effort to make it to the national stage – in fact, I think that can be said for making it to any stage you decide to compete on, no matter what level of pageantry you’re at right now – the work doesn’t stop there. Once that crowning moment is done the real hard work begins. Holding a national title takes many many hours of your time: Time away from your husband, your children and their homework and school events, extra-curricular sports and just plain Mommy time. You’re on the phone finalizing appearance details, on the computer keeping up with emails, packing wardrobe changes, catching flights and dividing yourself and the day up in an effort to keep everyone happy. Most days 24 hours is just not enough time.

What does Mom do? Mom is there to fill in where ever she can, to help with the children, and the day to day of running a household, but most of all to lend a listening ear, a strong shoulder to lean on and an encouraging voice when it’s needed. Sometimes I am there just to say get a few hours rest, You need it.

In closing I just want to say this: Ladies before you Chase That Crown make sure you are ready for the obligations that go along with it. Hopefully you will have a mother, sister, aunt, or someone in your life to be there for you, because your life will not be your own for at least one whole year.

Till next time,
Mary
 

March 7, 2008

Hello again everyone,

It's early March and I am back with a few comments for you fabulous Mrs. Pageant Ladies. I have met many of you and know about your platforms. I compliment you all for your hard work. I especially know about my daughter Stephanie’s platform, and why she got back into pageantry, or “Chasing the Crown” as a recent Dr. Phil show insinuated. I know how hard you ladies work; in your communities as well as all over the country as you try to make a difference in the lives of others. In support of you all, I say, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

I’ve lost a lot of respect for the Dr. Phil Show. I used to listen to him on the radio and have been a loyal fan but as I watch lately, I feel that it seems to be turning into a more confrontational type of show and I’m sad about that. In this case he could have shared so much great information with his viewers about pageantry, but he chose not to. Instead, that hour was spent making those ladies defend something that meant so much to them. I do hope he will show a more positive side of Mrs. Pageantry.

Good Luck Everyone,
Mary

 

January 2008

February is gone already and I am still excited about the wonderful experience my daughter Stephanie and I shared in January. It all started for me early in January when Stephanie said, “Mom, get ready, you and I are going to the Miss America Pageant. I’ve made all the plans. We are going to the VI P Breakfast, spend time with lots of other queens, and then go to the pageant.” To make it more exciting Stephanie really thought our Michigan girl could win. The tickets would be waiting in Vegas for us.

Finally the day came -- January 24, 2008. We were leaving the day before the breakfast so that we would be well rested and be able to spend some real quality time together over dinner and as we prepared for the coming day.

We arrived early for the breakfast, but there were many earlier than us. We were lucky to be late though as we were seated at a table near Mrs. Iora Hunt, the Grandmother of Miss. Michigan 2007, Kirstin Haglund. She and I had a great conversation, and I think I shared some good thoughts with her. We entertained each other while daughter and granddaughter had pictures taken with and autographs from the 18 former Miss Americas that attended the breakfast.

After breakfast my idea was that Stephanie should go spend time with her friends. There were Queens from all over the United States there: moms with their little girls, little queens with crowns, moms with crowns, Mrs. with crowns, Ms. with crowns, Plus with crowns, Teen with crowns. There were crowns and sashes everywhere – all laughing and talking and taking pictures in groups from 2 to 20 and more! Whether you know each other personally or not you still belong to that very unique group of females. But Stephanie was not having anything to do with my idea on how things should work. She said, “No Ma, you are going with us. I did not bring you here to stay by yourself.” And I’m very glad I did. We all had a great time together walking around, looking at the beautiful pageant gowns, swim wear, shoes, jewelry, and meeting the designers. Then we went off in different groups just doing our own thing until the next day when each would cheer on their favorite contestant for Miss America.

I am laughing at myself as I write this. “Thank you!! Thank you!!” Stephanie can never get those words out first if I am with her because I always beat her to it. My daughter still can't get over me, and I can't get over myself sometimes. I admit I get all into what is going on with her. Especially if someone gives her a compliment, I automatically say “Thank you!!” I think those words were used many many times while we were in Vegas. I just can't help it. I am so proud of her now, and always have been. I think I embarrass her sometimes, I never really thought about what any one else thought about it, someone please let me know.

Pageant day January 26, 2008 started off with Stephanie and I deciding to spend a quiet day together; sleep in, rest, have lunch, and then dress for the Pageant. The Pageant was more than we expected. It was live, and completely different. It was great luck to be sitting beside people from Michigan, so we had a cheering section and when our Kirstin won we went wild. So what else can I tell you, my exciting trip turned into a dream; we saw Miss Michigan crowned Miss America 2008 Live!! It was almost as great as seeing my daughter being crowned Mrs. United States 2007.

Till next time,

Mary

 

December 2007

Hello everyone,

I do hope your holiday season was Merry and Bright. My holiday was great as I spent it with my daughters, grandsons, and son-in-law.

I will continue with the comments I was making last month, concerning what Stephanie and I referred to as our plans A, B, & C. For us, these plans simply meant that quitting was not an option – and look where we are now! We set our goals and they were truly set to win. One thing we kept in mind was this saying -- If you don't believe you can win, you don't deserve to win. Another favorite is this quote from motivational speaker Les Brown, “It ain’t over till I win.” And really, why would you enter a contest if your intent was not to win?

Plan A is the present and the upcoming pageant. Plan B, would be another pageant coming up in two weeks to within a few months and Plan C -- a more long term plan -- simply follows Plan B. The plan is on going; if you have to, you pick yourself up, you dust yourself off and you start all over again. Remember, quitting is not an option. After each pageant you review what you think happened, and plan to change what ever you think you can change. It helps to have comments from the judges, and sometimes nothing needs to be changed except the judges. Different judges, different day, different winner. Don't beat yourself up, and Mom don't you beat her up. She is hurting enough already.

For the Moms with teenage daughters, PLEASE make sure this pageant is her dream, something she wants to do, not just your dream. Then be as supportive of her as you possibly can. A cheering section makes them feel very special. Moms of competitors in the Miss, Ms., and especially the Mrs. pageants, they need your support as well. It's never easy to get out on that stage. Most of the Mrs. contestants have had children and are struggling just to keep the regular bulges away, never mind trying to keep that pre-baby figure! The most important thing for every Mom is to be there for your daughters whenever and however you can.

BE BLESSED
Mom Mary

 

November 2007 … "I had a dream…"

That one day my daughter would be the first Black woman to hold the title of Miss America. In 1982 she was the first young Black woman to win a major teen pageant when she was crowned Miss United Teen 1982. (This was before Vanessa Williams won Miss America). Our Mayor at the time said that it was the best kept secret in America. I think that those were among the proudest days of my life – out of 52 girls from all corners of the United States – and with not one Black judge – my daughter won the pageant. There were 168 contestants when she captured the state crown and the same judging obstacle existed there. I know that Stephanie is a very special person, but I knew it then as well. The bright intelligent woman that she is shines beyond all color when she speaks.




MISS UNITED TEEN 1982

Stephanie got into pageantry after one of her school counselors put forward her name as a good potential contestant. We received the application in the mail, and she was very excited about it; so was I! We got busy preparing for the pageant. Stephanie was already in ballet school, modeling school, finishing school, and was number 1 in the State on the Forensic Speaking Team, so naturally I felt she would be a great contestant.


I always let my daughter know that "yes" you are beautiful just as everyone says, but you must have more than physical outer beauty, you must be beautiful through and through. You must always treat people the way you want to be treated. Even as we began preparations for that first pageant we had plan A, B, & C ready because we knew how many pageant opportunities were available and there was no way we were stopping at one. We set out to involve ourselves in the most reputable system that we could find; one that involved mainly scholarship opportunities. I will talk more about these plans another time. Have a blessed month.


Mary,